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Empathy, as defined in the dictionary, is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Often, parents want to empathize with their child as they grow and face different challenges in life. Showing empathy in itself is not a bad thing. 

However, when empathy is completely emotionally charged and not regulated with a good dose of critical thinking, it can become a debilitating crutch rather than helpful support.

Cause and Effect

Parents generally strive to make sound decisions for their children. However, when we as parents feel emotions that we think our child is feeling—often due to past experiences—our solutions can sometimes backfire. For example, imagine a child who is afraid of heights and doesn’t want to look over the railing at Niagara Falls. A parent might understand that fear, recalling their own childhood experiences where they were forced to confront heights, perhaps even being taunted for their fears.

Now, this parent wants to avoid such hurt for their child at all costs. They might, in an attempt to empathize, coddle the child who fears heights. Instead of having a conversation with the child to explore the fear and develop a plan to address it in manageable steps, they gloss over the issue, leaving the child with a fear of heights that could persist into adulthood.

In this scenario, the parent’s intention was to provide empathetic support, but a more critical approach could reveal that fear can offer a valuable opportunity for teaching bravery.tors, and anyone interested in enhancing their communication skills.

Providing Tools for Growth

This doesn’t mean that the parent should force the child to the edge of the railing or taunt them about their fear. Instead, the parent can reinforce the child’s bravery, explain why it is not necessary to be afraid, and demonstrate safety measures. For instance, they might show how to safely look over the railing, allowing the child to see it as a manageable experience.

The key difference is that instead of masking the fear, the parent equips the child with tools to overcome it. Fear doesn’t disappear magically with age; it often transforms into different issues. When a child learns how to address their fears effectively, they carry that skill throughout their life, becoming an adult who can face challenges with clarity and confidence.

Honest Reflection

As a parent, when you find yourself empathizing with a child and sensing emotional overload, ask yourself these questions:

• What opportunities am I providing my child?
• What opportunities might I be taking away?
• What opportunities can I offer to help them strengthen their weaknesses and enhance their strengths?
• Am I preparing them for success in life, even when I’m not there to guide them?

Each decision made as your child navigates the world involves a choice of opportunities. It’s crucial to recognize that for every opportunity you offer, another is inevitably foregone. Understanding when and how to introduce these opportunities is key.

A significant part of parenting is scaffolding—knowing when to present new situations or challenges that stretch and support your child’s growth. This approach is similar to the concept of at-home schooling where learning is integrated into daily life, providing continuous support and challenge.

Balancing Empathy with Intentionality

Being intentional requires patience and allowing your child space to solve problems and experience trial and error. Instead of removing hardships immediately, work through them when appropriate. This process involves breaking down emotions, reactions, responses, and habits—skills that will propel your child forward.

In the realm of homeschooling programs and online tutoring services, the approach is similar. Whether it’s affordable K-12 tutoring, online homeschool programs, or expert tutoring for elementary students, effective support involves recognizing the individual needs of each student and providing tailored assistance.

When you take the time to reflect on how you manage empathy for your child, you’ll be better equipped to help them grow into a logical, independent adult who can positively impact the world. Just as best online tutoring services and online homeschooling programs with teachers offer personalized learning experiences, your approach to empathy and support can foster a child’s development and success.

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